we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I need to sanitize my soul.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
