It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
