I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
