the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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