you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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