Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
