i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
