Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Do you still have your period?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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