from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
