I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
there is glitter all over my balls
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