is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
