he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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