Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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