plz talk dirty to me
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize