Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
