My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
