..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Randomize
