i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
