the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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