At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
