No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
