the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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