This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Randomize
