Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
