Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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