This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
