I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
