Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
