I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Randomize
