Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i will never coherently bang her
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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