we're chasing vodka with high fives
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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