Only a mothe r could love this liver
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
