Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
