found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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