put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
