no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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