check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
