is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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