Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize