After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
