PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize