no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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