Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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