I wannas sexs uuuuu
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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