Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
