apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
