I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
