We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
