Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
