Please don't use social media to get back at me.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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