Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
