WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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