I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize