i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
