Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize