Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
