I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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