i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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