Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
