i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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