I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
