Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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