I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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