we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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