More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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