so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
