Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
