Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
