So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
it was like eating out sand paper
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
