If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
bring money and cleavage
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
