Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
