Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize