I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
where are my eyebrows?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
