Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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