Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
