have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
