you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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